Tuesday, May 6, 2008

They're not that free

Short Note:
Erm... No one realized kah?
No one realized all the links at the sidebar is gone?
Anyway, in case you have not notice.. I had moved all the links to another page due to the reason I can no longer tahan seeing such a long list. I even felt like its going to break my monitor soon since I'm linking people up in such a fast-breaking speed.

You just need to click on the tab above (at my header) and there are all there. Just drop comments if you wish to be linked.


I overheard a very interesting conversation between a middle-aged mother and her secondary 4 son today. No I wasn't eavesdropping, they were talking really LOUD! Foochows maybe..

Mom : I tell you ah, the basketball thing hold first, I don't want bla bla bla bla bla bla (I wasn't concentrating)

Son: .....

Mom: How later? You wait for me or what?

Son: I go eat myself. You give me money.

Mom took out wallet and..

Son: Just give me that $10

Mom: Why you need so much for lunch? Just eat kolomee can already. No need $10

Son: I wanna go xxx restaurant.

Mom: Don't go there, the food there not as nice as before.

Son: .....

Mom: *sniffs* You smoke again is it?

Son: No I didn't.

Mom: You don't lie to me ah, I don't like people lying to me..

Son: ...

Mom: Tell me honestly, did you smoke? Past is past, I forgive you. I know last time you smoke, tell me frankly now, did you smoke justnow?

Son: I didn't...

Mom: About the basketball thing... See! Once I mentioned basketball your eyes become large and shine. I tell you, I'm going to talk to your principal about it..

Son: I don't want. I go talk to him myself.

Mom: I don't trust you, I go find him tomorrow.

Son: I tell you I will talk to him myself. That's it.

And.. the son walked off the room.

It was quite awkward as apart from her Filipino staffs, I was the only Chinese there who understand what they're talking. The lady boss (the boy's mom) smiled at me and just said,

"Sigh... Everytime also like that. Haven't finish talking then walk away liao.."

I smiled back and nodded, "What level in your son in now?".

"Form 4. Everyday go home, turn on the pc and ignore everything else.."

"Its like that lah auntie. I'm also like that. Glued to the monitor for hours."

"But at least I believe you how to manage your time ma... My son... sigh."


It was my first time meeting this woman and her son, but its not hard to see that the situation they're in now is what every parents will face, facing or faced, teens hitting the rebellious stage in their life.

I love kids. They're cute in their own ways, naive and innocent.
I want to have my own biological children and be a mother for real.

But the thought of coping with a pre-teen fills me with dread.

Sometimes I'm glad that I'm posted to a primary school instead of secondary because primary school kids are all so cute. Yes, even the naughty ones have their unique adorable side awaiting for us adults to discover.

My favorite level of all time is... Primary 1. They know how to take care of themselves already, raising their hands if they need to go to the loo. They're like a piece of blank paper waiting for us to give them colours. So so so so so adorable! (There's one particular girl that I wish I can bring home and just look at her. TOO CUTE!!!)

Looking at teenagers... sudden change of height, weight and their voices and also behaviour. Parents can no longer hold their hand when crossing the road because "malu if my friend see!" and asking them how's their school work makes you feel like you're interrogating James Bond, you can't get their mouths open and when this suspect of yours finally talks.., its either they want a new mobile phone or they need money for paying books or go cybercafe.

I wish to tell the auntie that she could have learn how to use a computer and bring their relationship closer, at least.. she knows what is her son up to hogging the monitor till late night.

I will cry and kow-tow to my beloved Buddha if my mum knows how to send a SMS!

And every time I heard stories from a friend regarding her younger sister, it made me want to rush to her house and slap her. Two words, kurang-ajar. which best describes most of the pre-teens nowadays isn't it?

I have no idea why is it SO important to own that $800+ mobile phone when she's only in secondary 3. I have no idea why she keeps cutting her hair short till, sometimes we all thought our friend has a brother instead of sister when she knows her mother is going to get so mad for it. And.. I have no idea why is it so hard to obey their parents when they themselves know its for their own good....

(That was also the time that I feel lucky that I'm the only child, else I think I'll die due to loss of blood because of too much puking. Vomit-blood, geddit?)

Sometimes we talked about this issue and wonder, were we too stupid back in the days being less demanding and took whatever given or, kids nowadays are too lucky growing up in this era?

I remembered the only time that I was really really really mad at my mom was because she force.. okay lah, made me joined the FT youth camp and I had to miss the last gathering that all my best friends farewelled the guy that I secretly admired for years! They took so many photos together, sent him off at the bus terminal and waved him goodbye.. They even played Truth Or Dare the night before! Roooooaarrrrrr!!!! It could have been my last chance to confess, or even earn a hug from him eh.

So ya, I didn't talk to my mum for several... hours, because I had to ask her when was dinner ready and I was very very hungry! I certainly have no idea how those people can protest by starving. Come on la.. you want to go on strike also choose a method torturing your enemy, and not yourself what.

One of the reason I envy my friends who got married at a young age and popped out their first baby when I was still schooling is because, the generation gap between them won't be that far. Imagine them bringing their daughters out.. those salesperson will goes like, "This one your younger sister ah? Hah?! Your daughter? Cannot be lah, you look so young.. I think you're only 30+ , no no no, make it at most 27 only ah...."


I want to be a cool mum who is up-to-date, learning all the latest technologies, follow news and gossips of their favorite idols, teach the girls how to protect themselves by giving them proper sex education (leave the son to their papa), and bring them to spa and saloon and enjoy everyone's attention. Hhahahhahaa.

And I hope I can stop repeating them stories of my glory days, if any.

Teens out there, no matter how long-winded your parents are, please remember.. everything they do or say is all for your own good. You think they too free have nothing to do so give birth to you just to quarrel with you is it?

Bringing you to the hospital when you're sick, making sure you can pass your exams, if they can't teach you themselves, they'll work extra hard just to earn money for your tuition fees. Buying you whatever you want if necessary provided they can afford it. Spent so much money on you and all they get in return is your "Go away. Leave me alone".

If you think that they're being unreasonable to you, controlling your life and yelled "THEY DON'T TRUST ME!", think again... Have you ever break your promise, hurt them and make them worried? What have you done to gain their trust?

Trust me, I believe if our parents have a choice, they'll love to set us free and live the life they always wanted. And not keep looking at the clock, worrying where have you been and sit in the living room waiting for you to return home.

It's not only responsibility that have keep our parents going, its their unconditional love.

... why is this post so emo?
And... why do I sound like a mother, worse, A GRANDMOTHER?!

Sponge Bob! Help! I need to retain my chalieness now!


Qamaruz said...

i was quite the rebel back in the days too. ( eseh baru 19 sudah ckp back in the days ) hahaha . but yeah, it is not easy to raise kids. i understand. i think.. hahaha

hdm said...

this is why i keep reading ur blog entries day after days after days (eventho some time no update), u not only entertain but also snap ppl back to reality with ur uncanny comments and rants ... keep it up.

48 said...

Don't remember you missing that farewell party.. hee hee..
Probably good thing u din't confess lah cos bobby much later lah
Actually everyone knew u admired him anyway???

Nonnie King said...

Qamaruz : You sure you passed the rebellious stage already? Hhahaha. So next time cut down some activities of yours to have less kids.

HDM : Thanks for the compliment. And, I'm updating everyday now... even though some are just filler posts. =)

48 : No heart lah you, damn sad leh me that time and you all having so much fun. Ask you all what happened that night and no one wanna tell me. Sai.

Cheh, I also don't know you like him that time lah. His wife must be laughing at us now. Hahhahaaa

Anyway, Shane and Bobby are better catches!

teddY said...

I made the decision to transfer the list of links to another page a few months ago for the same problem as well! The page just extends infinitely long over time, haha :)

Anyway it's heartbreaking to hear the conversation. I understand that adolescent are usually rebellious in nature and wanted to break free of parental control and live outside of their parent's shadow, but being outright rude and ignorant to their parents' feelings is a definite no-no.

For some reason, everytime when Mother's or Father's Day comes around, I feel very sad for orphaned kids.

De Pianist said...

my dad and mum still hold my hand when crossing the road leh.haha..good small little girl..haha..=P!

i think i'm rebellious last time?just on my studies though.haha..i hate it when my mum starts scolding me for not studying..lol..going for tuition is the most boring thing in my routine.haha..always end up in self study d.lol..

well anyway,i understand how hard my parents trying to earn money,i see my classmates struggling to earn money while study also very kesian d..hopefully i can do something back in return for their deeds..=)

p.s : oh ya..congrats for winning as the second runner up o..sorta busy and lazy to comment these days.haha..

Jewelle Tan said...

Well said Nonnie!

I think the only time I was really really mad at them was also about a youth camp - and the worst that I did was cry during meal times, ha!

I would like my children to be outspoken and independent, willing to fight for what they believe in - and I hope that I as a parent are using the right methods to guide them to possess these kind of attributes (we'll only know in 10-15 years time, yikes!) said...

Nonnie Ah-mui, as a parent to TWO preteens now, this post really hits close to home for me heheh.

My teenage years were pretty tumultuous. I'm guilty of being a rebel and really hurting my parent's feelings... at some points, breaking their hearts even... :(

Karma has a strange way of coming back to you doesnt it?