Intimacy VS Isolation

The sixth developmental stage that I'm going through right now according to Erik Erikson.

(I seriously think that these pioneers of those psychological theories are geniuses! Or maybe freaks to a certain extend. And John Watson was bloody inhumane when he conditioned little Andrew Albert)

I was reading this and began to ask myself,

Have I developed or am I still developing a sense of closeness with others and the path I have chosen in life?

Get the answers by asking yourself questions as below:

ARE YOU ABLE TO LOVE OTHERS FULLY? Do you love yourself fully?  Do you find it easy to share your deeper dreams, aspirations, fears and emotions with a few close friends?  Do you have a few intimate friends that you can be totally honest with and self-disclose your true feelings and thoughts?

Do you have (or have you had) a RELATIONSHIP WITH A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE sex in which you felt so totally loved and accepted that you could reveal your very feeling and thoughts without censoring?  If you are married, does the marriage fulfill your needs for understanding, love, acceptance and trust?  Are you able to give unconditional love to another person or do you often feel the need to withhold your true feeling?

Do you often feel isolated and lonely?  Do you sometimes feel you will never truly love or be loved?  Do you feel like most of your friendships are rather superficial?  Do you lack friends that you can really trust to accept you and love you unconditionally?  Are you having trouble establishing deep friendships?


(Source taken from here)

I want to say that it's already developed, but the thing is... something will "just happened" and forced me to alter my path and re-developed the sense of closeness again. Its good that I can adapt well into a brand new environment and schedule/routine. I remind myself to stay positive as much as I could but I think I'm a natural born pessimist. Its not very obvious from the way I talk or interact but there's a lot of times that I can't stop imagining myself in a worst case scenarios.

I have too many questions in my head. Sometimes I wonder if its my fault to put my trust and hope easily to another person and get all raged when they failed me. Maybe I was being naive all these time. What's the point for me getting all worked up when others don't even care and happily carry on with their lives?


As for now, I guess I'll just retreat and withdraw into my shell.