Friday, July 20, 2007

Love and Money

Short Note:

Guess who's coming to town tomorrow? THE MAN HIMSELF!
And I hope I'll bump into Princess Nashwa and Stella at the Jubilee Park tomorrow.

Went to the padang justnow, sad lah... Didn't bumped into any friends.. but saw a flock of emo kids teens wearing black shirts and also heard someone calling "Hi Cher." to me from time to time.

Mana saya punya kawan?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

My colleague (currently "ex" already, happened last few years) came to work happily with her shiny red car and a happy smile on her face.

Of course, out of curiosity everyone gathered around it and checked it out, and asked stupid questions like.. "Wah, new car! Rich eh you", "How much?"or maybe he actually meant "How much you have to pay per month?", "You buy one kah?".

She get out from her car slowly and guess what she said,

"My husband buy for me one, as my birthday present~", with that typical smile (happy + kambang). And all ladies shouted in astonishment. "Really? So sweet! Your husband so generous lah."

Sekali she answered, "Yeah, he paid $500 deposit and the rest I loan, 7 years.", still having the happy look on her face.

In my heart I was like, "WTF? You don't pay 2% of the total amount and give it to people as a present and ask that person to pay the remaining 98%! That's not a gift, that's a BURDEN for God's sake."

Well... Good thing that she still believes that it's a GIFT rather than TROUBLE.

* * *

And I had a friend... (wait, more like someone I know I think?), I bet his hobbies is buying gifts for the girlfriend, the more expensive the merrier.

Once we had a conversation and he told me what he bought for his girl for Xmas. Hmm.. Let me see, Gucci something, LV something and Prada something if not mistaken. (Those "somethings" include watch, shoes and dress if I'm not wrong).

I asked him, "Why are you spending so much on your girlfriend? So your way of telling her that you love her is by buying her stuffs?"

"Yes, the more I love her, the more money I want to spend on her."

Gah..... I bet a lot of you would want to go out with this guy, but sorry to say... apart from his money, there's nothing attractive about him.

But I really dislike what he said, I mean... love is about patience, caring, and that sort of things, instead of leaving the focus on MONEY.

* * *


And last few months, Bobby and I companied a girl friend to Miri for buying her fiance his birthday gifts. She got him a 4-digit figure watch. Even though it's in RM, still it's consider very mahal for me. But I guess it's fine for her since she got a Visa supp card from him.

I turned to Bobby and asked, "When are you going to buy me expensive and branded stuffs?"

"When I start working?", he answered. "Okay, fair enough.", I said.

"Hmm.. You're already working, so why didn't you buy any expensive stuffs for me?".

"Kay-Not. Have to wait till you buy me first mah. If not later I rugi how?" =p

Hehehheheeee. Pardon my frugality.

* * *

Don't you think it's hard to measure between the value of material and love?


26 comments:

Jewelle said...

No matter how expensive the presents are, it is pointless if that is all he or she is willing to give in a relationship. I rather get nothing bought from stores if I get everything else that I want from a relationship, like affection, loyalty etc.

After all, we can buy stuffs ourselves right?

Sha said...

Which is why I'm glad that while Lex enjoys his sudden abilities to shower me with "anything, pick anything", he understands that it doesn't replace his long absences.

Besides, money is never an issue wih us. Who has money pay. We spend alot of gifts for each other for special occassions (and for emergency occassions whereby I am extremely pissed off with him.

Also, when he wants to buy me crazy things like a laptop, I will always put a stop to it, and tell him I don't want to depend on him. I'll buy it when I can afford it. Girl Power eh?


:P

I'm Choonie. said...

I love presents from hubby but he seldom shower me with it. He is not the kind to buy gift at any moment but he does during special occasions. He pays for everything (necessities) and never ask for a cent from me. So, I think I am fortunate to have him. I have enough and anything beside that will be an extra. However, I wish that hubby can pamper himself better than sacrificing everything for me.

dirty angel said...

But I really dislike what he said, I mean... love is about patience, caring, and that sort of things, the focus should be on MONEY.

Eh you dislike what he said but the focus should be on money? Hehehe

Nonnie King said...

Jewelle : Yes, it's always better to invest in ourselves. *wink*

Sha : So sweet of Lex. Don't know why guys love to persuade their girlfriends in buying things they don't need lah.

Bobby can't do that yet... He's still a poor student. But I made him said how many percent of his salary will he give me next time as allowance. Hahhahaa.

Nonnie King said...

Choonie : You pamper him mah can liao~

You do know what sort of "pamper" I'm saying here right?

Dirty Angel : Oops! See, this is the problem when I terus published my post without proof-read.

sorry ah... salah type. =p

teddY said...

Hi Nonnie! Sorry for not coming by for such a loooong time! Well hope everything is doing fine for you :) I understand that teachers are constantly under a tremendous amount of stress (because my mom is a teacher too!)... so hang in there Nonnie!

Anyway, I don't think money equates to love, although many girls don't mind their husbands or boyfriends spending an exorbitant amount of money on them. In this materialistic world, everyone will definitely be thrilled if they can have a branded bag, a big car, a classy condo, a prestegious club membership and etc.

But then sometimes it's the very small things that makes love shine. I've got a friend who recently fell in love with this guy. As far as I know they guy didn't spend a lot of money on her, which made me to ask her what actually happened. Well she said it was one day they were on the bus and he looked into her eyes and sort of untangled her untidy fringe... and she said that very moment she felt so touched by that small little gesture of his. That's what money can't buy!

War186 said...

People should never get confused with love and money. True love can exist without money. It shouldn't be hard to judge the value of material things and love itself.

That's a funny story about your ex-colleague and her "birthday present". Her husband only paid for the deposit and she says it's her birthday present from him. How can that be? She still has to pay monthly with her own money. Like you said, a burden. Haha.

Early on in my relationship with Boon he wanted to give me monthly allowance but I denied him. I didn't feel like it was right to get "paid" for being a girlfriend. Heh. :P

But every now and then he surprises me with material things and that's just nice. As long as it's not too much. I try to give back in return. But then I learnt personal and home-made gifts like making dim sum are the best. ;) He loves it when I put so much effort in things like that-shows how much I love him he says. He rather measure that than measure how much I would spend on him. :)

Bobby said...

There goes a huge fraction of my salary. But never mind, if not enough money, i can eat martabak everyday and it still taste good food. There are more important things in life than material stuff. Human used to need basic necessities like food, water and clothing but now seems to be want more than they need.

cc said...

Love can never ever be measured with money.
For me and Mr K, the longer we are together, the less expensive stuff he give me. He used to spend thousands of dollars on gifts etc, but now that we're married, he's prohibited to do that ever again. His money is our money, and they stay in a place called bank. I'm perfectly happy with a card, poem or anything that doesn't cost a boom.

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Kenny Ng said...

Love and money really a good subject to talk and will never end the topic. In this reality world now days, no money no love. I know many will not agree with my statement but I just telling the truth from what I observed and also my own experience.

Iwan Sanchez said...

its a harsh reality that no money no love.. i totally agreed with kenny...

i also detest guy who love to splurge on their partners.. tto make matter worse, there are some ppl who love to hutang $$$ just to impress their partners..

sigh..

but as a matter of fact, in this world, money is always the primary issue.. the rest is secondary..

this is just my 2 cents..

JaMiLLa said...

"No money no love" & "The more I spend money on her/him, the more I love her/him" This two statement are totally different.

I agree with Kenny saying but not fully agree. WHY?

Let me show a bigger picture:

ELEMENT OF LOVE
=================
1. Patience = 心思
2. Caring
3. Appreciation
4. Trust
5. Money (small portion)


Thats why I said I agree with Kenny but not all. Now we are in reality world. We cant think that like Cantonese saying 有爱情,就喝水都饱. Thats impossible. So the element of love have to contain some monetary item to make it more realistic and fantastic.

Money is just a supportive character in a LOVE FILM. It is a neccesity but not as a whole. Like you wanna cook breakfast for your beloved one. You need money to buy the foods to show your love & caring right? Same goes to handmade gift. Patience, Caring, Appreciation and Trust are the main character.

So it depends on which one you are more focusing. Thats why some people say LOVE is MONEY and others responsed NO, LOVE is TRUST.

There is no right or wrong here. Everyone who speak your opinion here is right for you bcos its your awareness of life. Others may think that you are not right but as long as you think its right for you. That's it. As long as you are happy, just be happy.

Do I draw up a whole picture for you all? I just combine you all ideas into a clear picture. Im so happy with the picture that I draw. It resolves my confusing.

Thats a good awareness for me. Im happy that you all have a great awareness of what is happening around you all. And I also appreciate you all for speaking your thought and increase my understanding.

THANK YOU!

Note: Is this my blog or king's blog? Why im saying thank you? HEHE! But honestly, im speaking all from my heart. Once again, thank you all!

Atul said...

Aiyoooo.. I don't like that too. The car thing. You buy as a gift, and expect me to continue paying for 7 years. MALAS LAH. Unless, if I asked to help pay for deposit. That at least is understandable. As a gift I mean. Hehe.

Nonnie King said...

Teddy : Based on the number of entries you'd been posting for the past few weeks, I know you're rather busy too. =)

It's always the little things that counts more I guess. Sometimes I envied my girl friends when their boyfriends bought them expensive stuffs and dinner, but they told me that they would rather get a hand-made card like what Bobby always gave me because this is what their bfs will never do.

Pros and Cons lah. I bet when Bobby starts working he won't have that kind of time too.

Nonnie King said...

Wardah : Buying gifts is acceptable but the idea of giving monthly allowance do sounds pretty wrong and I wonder why some girls actually like it a LOT!

Isn't it fun? To surprise the boyfriends and imagine how they'll react. Those happy smiles are worth all the hard work already.

I gotta try new recipes now. Is shu-mai easy to make?

Nonnie King said...

Bobby a.k.a Ah Pui : Really? You're going to be me a HUGE fraction of your salary? Or you think that 20% is already huge =p

I love you, regardless of the salary that you'll be giving me next time.

Just stay the same like you are right now and I promise you I'll cook for you for the rest of your life.

Nonnie King said...

CC : I do understand that marriage life and dating can be two very different thing. And Mr. K and you are going to be my role model to learn.

Rose : Huh? Is that a spam?

Kenny Ng : I think the correct quote will be, More money, more love.

Less money, less love.

No money, still got love.. only when they're someone directly related to you, like our parents.

Iwan : Sigh, people are turning very realistic and materialistic.

I know most women stay single because they couldn't find a better guy providing them the kind of life they want so they might as well stay single since they're capable of taking good care of themselves.

And so we must work hard to secure our future, regardless of being single or married.

Nonnie King said...

Xiang Xiang : I guess your comment has stated what I wanted to say in this post clearly. Detail and straight to the point.

Money does play an important role in a relationship, but it shouldn't be the focus, as mentioned. And also, relationship structured based on money is unstable and definitely not long-lasting.

But, there are cases of couples who can 共患難。 but not 共富貴。

還真矛盾呢。。。到底應該有錢還是沒錢好呢﹖ 當然﹐ 有個錢旁身永遠是比較安全的。

Nonnie King said...

Atul : A lor, it sounds more reasonable if tablik. And funny that she still thinks it's a sweet and considerate gift from the hubby.

If only I'm that blind in love. Hhahhaaa

jessie said...

Hahaha~~~

World nowadays~~!!
So materialistic~~

Well for me...
My bf n i do buy gift for each other... like twice a year...
Xmas n bday~~
I like it that way~~
Coz at least we dun overspend on each other....
N treasure the gifts more~~ :p

N also...focus on what is real~~
Like being together...
All the small things we do for each other...
That is more important...

As it lasts~~
Gifts??
They are nice~~
Once in a while~~!!

Nonnie King said...

Jessie: Yeap, once in awhile is just nice. But not everytime because it might make one greedy with high expectation.

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