Over-Prepared

I'm kind of having this blogger's block right now...as you can see from the number of entries I'd posted for the previous week.

I had nothing funny to share, no nice story to tell... Just so 'blah'.

Yesterday night while chatting with my gigi-besi, we're talking about insecurity and trust.

Call me a pessimist, but this world had shown me a lot of real life examples of love won't last (for too long?). Oh well, there are still a couple of sweet-loving married couples whom always act so very lovey-dovey in front of others, but I'll like to imagine them fighting after they closed their room door.

(Very evil of me huh?)

I told my boo that, sometimes I don't understand how can some people trust their other half so deeply. I mean, how can they be so sure and blinded?

I know some of you may be yelling there, "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM! LOVING SOMEONE MEANS YOU HAVE TO FULLY TRUST HIM!"

(And later die of heart break pathetically....sobbing and crying while the friends sigh, "See, I told you so" ) <- I added.

Sometimes I felt that I shouldn't be that lucky to have such a great guy in my life (He's good. Because I said so.) and I always got a feeling that God might take it away from me anytime. He said he felt the same too and asked if this is a common case that happens to everyone else?

Don't worry, there's nothing wrong or fight or quarrel in between Bobby and I. It's just a random topic. I love him still and so does him.

* * *

Because of my so-very-wild imagination, sometimes I pictured that ...

One day I decided to pay him a surprise visit. With all those goodies in the plastic ready to cook him a big feast. And just when I wanted to press the doorbell, I saw him.. with another girl (or maybe guy. Hhahahahh!!!!) with his hand on the slut's waist, walking out from the door. (I hope she tripped and fell and the face swollen like a pig later)

I dropped my plastic bags and the spilled the oranges... It rolled and gently hit his foot. He looked up and saw me standing there. Tears slide down my face uncontrollably. So sad and mad..

(Okay, at this point I'm still thinking whether I should go confront him and give him a slap. Or just act like those very kasian woman, turn my head with hand wiping my tears and run away without hearing his explanation. Come on, face the fact, tell me who can still react calmly after a betrayal thrown to the face like that?)

Great imagination huh?

I don't like to be called pessimist, I prefer to describe myself as "well-prepared".

Because of the reason that I always imagine myself falling and rolling down the stairs, I will walk slowly and extra careful.

Because I imagine how badly a car accident can be, I remind myself not to speed and overtake (if unnecessary =p).

Because I don't know when will I die, thus I wish I can end all conversations happily with my friends, family and lover. Leaving the best memories and no regrets.

No one knows what will happen in the future. It might be the very last word, conversation or happenings between. That is why every time when we had an argument, we'll try to settle it asap, strictly no "brought forward" to the next day.

(Well... our fight always ended pretty fast. Either one of us, regardless of who's at fault will apologize first. It can be a simple sorry for making the other person angry or sad, or a sorry for such unhappy conversation.)

Just like any other girls, I'm stubborn. Hoping (or insisting) that it should be the the guy to say sorry (even if it's actually the girl's fault). I'm spoiled, by my past experience. I know 'they' will come and comfort me when I throw a fuss.

(Oh my.. what am I blogging about? Totally irrelevant! Back to topic)

I'm just thinking... Is it bad to imagine the worst scenarios in life?

I even imagine if there's any gas explosion or big fire in Seria, how should I escape? FYI, our little humble town is the heart of oil industry in Brunei. If any like those mentioned happened, it's confirm doom-day for us.

And if tsunami comes... which roof top can I climb up to stay safe?

Usually, my friends will knock my head and say, "Think too much lah you."

But... I thought it's good to think? Einstein only used 5% of his brain and he's already a genius! I think the commoners are only using 0.01%. So, what about the remaining 99.99%? Grow grass ah?

*LOL*

Just wondering.. Am I the only one who's always "OVER-PREPARED"?

And... what about the word people always say, "If you think and think and think too much of the same, later it will really happen"

Bah, I go imagine that Bobby will buy me a RX350 and a 10carat diamond ring now. Then I received a letter saying that I'm going to have an annual income of U$1 million by doing nothing but just go shopping in branded shops, eating in posh restaurant, 1-3-5 do saloon for hairdo, 2-4-6 go facial, manicure and pedicure, Marie France want me to be their spoke person giving me all those sliming package for free!

Its good to dream, isn't it?