Sunday, September 21, 2008

Attachment Disorder/ Inappropriately demanding / Clingy

It was just a short 5 hours roundtrip from Seria to BSB and my colleague's handphone had been beeping non-stop interrupting our conversations every 15 minutes. He picked his phone up and took a glance at the screen and put it down sighing...

"I never know this dating business can be so boring.. I'm so going to give it up soon."

"Huh? Why? Is that your girlfriend who's texting you all this while?"

"Urm... not really a girlfriend la..."

"Just tell me how long have you guys been seeing each other then."

"1... 2.... 3... 4.... Urm, 4 weeks?"

"WHAT! 4 weeks only and she's behaving like that already?"

"Ya lah.. that's the thing. We're only in the "dating stage" and she's already scaring me off!"

"Then.. You just leave it like that? Ignoring saja?"

"I already told her save her credits and stop calling and texting me when its unneccessary but she'll call or text in middle of the night telling me that she's sad or crying now and demanded me to go to her house right away! Gila kan?"




This is not just an ordinary attention seeker we talking about, but way scarier than that.
UHU glue is a much appropriate name I guess.

Sometimes I really wonder how can some people be so clingy to their other halves. I heard stories of couples living together and yet when the girl's friend invited her to any gathering or party, she'll have to ask the boyfriend first and make sure he's fine with it then baru can leave the house. And if she has to go out, the boyfriend has to follow.

What are you girl? His pet in the cage?
I mean, come on.

The word "sweet" never come across my mind seeing my girl-friends picking up phone calls and answering to their boyfriends, report to them their goings and doings and then their boyfriends set curfews up demanding them to be at home by what time. A better alternative word that I would use will be, "Suffocation".

I have a friend who will received calls from the boyfriend every time he wakes up in the morning, leaving home for work, lunching out, reaching home after work, meeting friends to lim-teh and the girl has to repeat the cycle everyday likewise. And if he called and my friend didn't get to pick up the phone on time and he had to call for the second or third time, habis tia. Sure marah and demand a valid reason.

So even doing "business" in the toilet or washing car in the garage also have to report / acknowledge first kah?

I got confused and asked, "Not tired kan like that?" and she said she's used to it because that's how they were years ago when they just started their relationship. Still she did feel exhausted at times but if that's how their relation works, she'll just do it.

As for me, the first and foremost "condition" that I have for a relationship is being happy and content. If having a boyfriend means that most of the time have to be taken away by him leaving no space for me myself, feeling tensed and worried every time I go out with my friends.. I rather give it up and be single.

I remember being really mean to Bobby when we just started to date, telling him..

"I tell you ah, I may inform you if I'm going out with my friends. But keep in mind that I'm not asking for your permission ya. Please don't try to stop me from doing things and keep me in control because I don't like..."

Teruk right?
Feels like I'm a big bad wolf bullying a harmless little sheep.

Bobby and I are a pair of odd couple, according to some. We're not very clingy to each other because, we rarely talk on the phone since you know.. I hate talking over the phone and at normal days, we only exchange like 2 - 3 SMS per day. Sometimes during those peak period, we might even just conked out and slept like a dead log without a good night message.

So sometimes I also don't understand why some people can non-stop texting with their boy/girlfriends. Got so much of things to talk kan? Mind you, if you ever eavesdrop mushy couples conversation, it's really lame and crappy like:

- Baby have you eaten?
- Yes darling. You leh?
- Already also... how many bowls of rice baby ate?
- 1 bowl lor.
- Har? 1 bowl only ah? Not enough baby. Must eat many many become strong strong protect me.
- Like that baby go eat more rice now ah. Eat till big big protect my darling.
- Huh? What? I'm eating rice, you told me so...


- I love you baby.
- I love love you darling.
- I love love love you baby.
- I love love love love you!
- I love love love love love you more!
- I love x 100 you!
- Then I love x 1000000 !
- Fine! I love x Infinity! I WIN!

Hahhahahaaa. So stupid. 
Nevermind me, I'm just amusing myself.

Of course, if you feel happy that your partner is so emotionally attached to you, needing you every minute and second, congratulations.. You guys are made for each other.

But if the person you're dating now appears to be a psychotic stalker.... all I can say is,
Good luck.


I think needy people are suffering from insecurities. I have to admit that I have that moment too once in a while, being all cranky and demand for more attention from the fatguy but my superego will give me warning about it, reminding me myself that being too clingy could destroy a relationship. But.. I still think I score pretty high for being a girlfriend since the boyfriend only complained not having enough time with me (only average 5 hours a week) and requesting me to be mean to other people and not him. Hahhahahahaaa. Okay, come to think of it... I think I only score border line pass being a girlfriend.

Emotionally clingy and lack of self-esteem can be pretty much the same thing actually. I often think that people who can't function independently very kasian. They can't maintain separateness and basically is living like a parasite feeding on other people's words and opinions. I think people with attachment disorder should their own interests and hobbies first, divert some attention from their partners. 

Just take a step backward and enjoy the fresh air and get a better view of the world. 

I found some articles here which may help you, or me.. HAHAHHAA! Terkarang~

7 Signs You're Being Creepily Clingy and How to Cope With a Clingy Girlfriend or Boyfriend


Okie, now get back to work Nonnie!
You still have 5 - 700 words more to go for your psycho essay!


Iman said...

I find this post really interesting. :D

and no, I'm not a clingy girlfriend. hehehe

miff said...

I really like reading this post! funny! XD

Nonnie King said...

Iman : Thanks and cheers for not being a clingy girlfriend!

Miff : I was thinking if anyone will get offended lagi. Thanks for the feedback.

Tina said...

I am not a clingy girl myself. but I do think that this is an inappropriate post to make. I mean, let them be clingy if they are happy that way. Seriously, why the insults?

Nonnie King said...

Tina : I'm sorry if this post had offended you but I have to make it clear that I'm not insulting anyone here.

And I appreciate the act of you for leaving your name and not using an anonymous identity to comment this.


Jewelle said...

This is interesting. I don't personally know anyone who are like this but I know they exist - as you've said. And I guess this kind of behaviour is easier (read : the other partner will entertain) to maintain when still dating lah.

Married folks who do this is asking for trouble :-)

Nonnie King said...

Jewelle : HAHAHHAHA!

Honestly, so far I have not encounter any clingy husband or wife..

I guess one of the solution to that is to get married..?

uglyfatchick (Chicky) said...

I am the clingy sort about 5 years back. The thing is I didn't realised I was acting like really psycho and superily immature lah.

Think when young, always think that BGR is like those tv shows. Everyday the couple go dating. -.- Real life where got everyday date de. No money and no time loh! so much things to do, so many friends to meet. :p

CLEO said...

nice topic nonnie..senyum ku membaca hehe

Dania805 said...

i hv few fren doing so n it does amuse me how boring n annoying it cud b. texting n reporting evry single thgs like a lil child. Haha. And it suprised me dat u didnt mention a'thg abt trustworthy. Those who r clingy might feel insecure wif the r/ship n those who doesnt might feel that trustworthy is there in the r/ship. Imagine ah, ur gf soon to be wife so clingy...die loh to face her e'day in the future. From where mah? what for? why? no, i dunno her? who? lol.. *too long comment* haha

Nonnie King said...

Chicky : Ya, relationship just don't function like what we saw from dramas.. I guess age is another issue but then, there are also grown up who behaves like a kid asking for sweets wor.

I wonder...

Nonnie King said...

Cleo : Thanks a bunch sweetie.

Dania805 : I didn't include in trustworthy because its gonna make the post even longer and I have an assignment dueing soon.

But then like what I mentioned to Jewelle, I jarang see clingy married people... Or its just me not having the chance to encounter one.

Effy said...

Haha. I'm replying here so you don't have to check my tagboard. Its around 5k for the operation minus the stay etc. Since the procedure is 'minor'(coblation tonsillectomy)the patient get to go home the day after or later that day depending how well he/she is recuperating. To tell you the truth i haven't done it yet :P Look for Doctor Zul, he's the best. I don't know any other ENT specialist in JPMC besides him.

Nonnie King said...

Effy : MINUS THE STAY!!! Wow....*sweat*

De Pianist said...

lol..clingy gf,my friend is definitely one of them.come back home for only 3-4 hours and the rest of her time would be spent sticking together with her also the same thing,keep on calling even though sometimes she's in the bathroom..i see also speechless already..

those mushy messages..makes my hair stand leh..can't imagine how i would be if i'm in relationship.ha.

kelly said...

hahaha, this topic do applies to a few couples that are near me huh?? u know who I'm refering to la....hahahah, or maybe not, coz too many? hahaha anyway....not insulting post to me, just that different couples have their own way of dating? controlling? or securing ah? I also not sure which one....

eh, I comment to remind you to think of my steammmm ironnnn, just choose a lasting brand or watever u think it will last coz i got another basket of clothes againn....!!! next yr I need to purchase an amah plsss....hahahaha

Drifting Cloud said...

I don't think I can be as clingy as ur colleagues' date... hahahaa... I just won't have the time to do so... It's so time-consuming...

CiliQueen said...

Hmmm maybe being clingy at appropriate time is ok..but seeing bf carry gf's handbag?? waaahh lagi kesian ehh ...anyway married couples do also need some space for themselves...

yuhoo this is my personal comment and it is a good post Nonnie =)

@lex said...

hmm .. which is worst? clingy bf or gf? .. anyway nice post .. thank goodness this is 'personal' blog you can just put what u think is ok .. bottom line i think thought we cannot accept those clingy type.. there are those who loves them around .. thought rarely admit it .. lol ...if not how get marry n stay together so long ... lolx..

Nonnie King said...

Pau Lene : What the fish... Even in bathroom also bu-fang-guo?

Kelly : LOL! You're my sole contributor to all this stories eh~
And.. need to chase the iron till here or not oh...

Drifting Cloud : Exactly.. Like sleep and see tv also not time liao still got time to spot-check?

CiliQueen : True, must see time also mah. You make a good point CQ.

@lex : Same same pien tai lah. What do you mean I can put what I think? You don't see atas got people say I was insulting meh? Sigh... Feel so kerlian

Kelly said...

Need! coz everyday I arrive home, i saw the basket of clothes and then remind me of the thing again hahaahahah

LS_Neo said...

hi nonnie. i'm an avid reader of ur blog. i don't want to sound too clingy but i try to come back and read ur blog whenever i can. i got to admit i like ur writing. it's interesting the way you put your words into your everyday life and your funny/sarcastic opinions. it really entertains me. keep it up =)

Stels said...

Lols Coming from you does sound so interesting. I think many teenagers will terasa with this post! Not me! hahaha I know when to or not to be clingy. But atleast ada warning lah! Every one needs spaces in relationship and respect that. :)

Nonnie King said...

Kelly : Yes yes! Next week k

LS_Neo : Thanks! Appreciate it loads. Hehheheee.

Stels : LOL! Terasa but still in denial kan?

sheepy said...

hi non..we both know some ppl who are like that kan..just in our circle of friends..hahhahahhahaha!!!!shhhhhhhhhhh..hahahhahaha!!!

Stels said...

LolS! who will admit say they are!? hahah

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Anonymous said...

My boyfriend and I have discussed this matter, and we both believe that neither of us are clingy, however, we're both very much drawn too eachother. Before we made it clear that we were both interested in eachother, we were first best friends, therefore constant communication (texting/tallking) was something we've always been engaged in.

Now that we're officially an item, we're still bestfriends first before bf/gf, we still text and talk nonstop EVERYDAY. Does this make us clingy?....I don't think so, I believe we just share a special bond because we're best friends like that.