Sunday, February 3, 2008

Rich Boyfriend, Poor Boyfriend

It was not until my "god-brother" (a 17 years old kiddo whom I'd bullied since young) came to me and asked for gift ideas for his girlfriend then I realized how different is kids nowadays compare to us last time.

"Hey, tell me what kind of gifts should I get for my girlfriend?", asked the 17 years old young lad who just had his O' level result and now waiting for his 6th form enrollment.

"Dinner, flowers, chocolates, gifts.. the usual old school stuffs lor. You got money meh?"

"Money you don't have to worry for me. CNY coming sure got angpao one. Actually I already bought a white gold necklace but it is for our anniversary. So I don't know what to get for Valentine's day."

*jaw dropped for 5 seconds but yet had to pretend like its no big deal and continue chatting with him*

Omaigouda! Someone tell me how can a 17 years old afford a white gold necklace that cost few hundred bucks? Well... you don't have to tell me actually, I had already guess the answer.

1. Savings from their angpaos accumulated for years.

2. Tell parents they need $50 for reference books/ tuition fees/ misc and actually the amount needed is $20. Save the $30 balance for personal entertainment fee.

3. For smart kids, scholarship given from those business chamber association, Hakka association, Cantonese association and bla-bla-bla association.

4. Sell off their belongings maybe? Like Magic cards or I don't know, mp3 players or mobile phones?

5. Those born with silver spoon.... No need to say liao lar.

Ish. Kids nowadays...
A baaaaaa... Sour grape ba can or not?

How could I be so easily pleased with a stupid key chain and a Pizza Hut $5 meal just like that when I was 17? Why didn't it come to my mind that I should have "fish" a slightly wealthier person, or someone who's willing to be a robber just for me. Wah seh, like no romantic and noble... NOT! 

My first Valentine's Day was celebrated pathetically with a $10+ per head tacky dinner with a supplementary rose. Ya, that's how I got my very first flower, sekuntum, from the waiter somemore. 

Yet, I felt that I had the biggest smile and thought I was the luckiest woman girl because he got me a Panda plushie and drove all the way down from BSB to celebrate with me.

Silly girl.

(Bang head against wall and cried out loud)

I'm not trying to sound materialistic because I am not, at least I think so. Over the years, I'm still easily satisfied by a handmade card from a poor undergraduate. I told myself that it was his character and personality that make him a wealthy person and who he is that make me fell in love. 

Of course, I'm surrounded by a bunch of fairy-tale-like-princesses along with their not-so-charming-princes with stories that made me go "Wuuuu!" and "Waaaa!", showering them with expensive gifts and dinners who eventually turned out to be their chauffeur cum ATM machine cum  servant sum lover. Envious leh. 

Then I'll turned to the boyfriend and told him the thriller (for him it is, for me I called it romance) and followed by a million dollar question, "So when are you going to buy me expensive gifts like that har?"

Now I sound like a scary witch don't I?

I know I know. Everyone told me that I shouldn't compare because it was unfair to him and reminded (along with curses and swears) how lucky I was for having a boyfriend who would spent hours or days in making cards and gifts instead of buying the usual stuffs. 

"Hah, you think he'll still make you cards after he starts working? I don't think so. You better cherish all the (handmade) gifts given by him before you received none in the future."

. . . *speechless*

Girls, answer me honestly...
How many of you will prefer a handmade card to a genuine branded watch?


Which one will melt your heart more? The moment when your boyfriend takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and read you a poem written by himself as a marriage proposal (Roses are red, violets are blue. Please marry me because I love you so), or when he takes out the pretty turquoise box with beberapa carat diamond ring inside?

Come to think of it, I doubt that I'll like it if my boyfriend buys and pays for everything. Make me feel damn useless. There are couples with an ego boyfriend who insists on footing all the bills, also couples who still prefer to go dutch every time they go out for a date. 

We belong to the later. 

Sometimes I'll buy him lunch and he'll be paying for the movie tickets. 
Sometimes we split our bills. 
Sometimes he'll buy me ice cream when I start getting grouchy.

We even made a deal, "No expensive gifts before he starts working."

I planned to buy him a mobile phone for his birthday because 70% of dinosaur egg's paint had fallen off and the keypad already cacat. 

Ya, his first generation of colour screen with polyphonic tone with no bluetooth, no camera, no mp3 player mobile phone is called Dinosaur Egg. What a lovely name isn't it. Of course, he declined the idea. Silly me for asking him whether he prefer a slide phone or flip phone.

The foundation of relationship shouldn't be built on money but love, respect and trust, which I don't see it often nowadays. Maybe that's one of the reason why the term on/off relationship exists.  

The super classic Chinese slang, 
"Money is not everything. But without money, there is nothing" .

True that a token of love, aka gifts, can add bonus points to a relationship but I guess that is not everything. But without it, relationship can gone stale and boring too.

Note to my fat guy, this post is not to pressurize you or anything ya. I hope you won't feel disturbed by it and I just want to tell you, I love you even if you buy me a fake rose or LV bag.

Wait... save your money if you gonna buy me any bogus stuffs, just get me the double chocolate gelato you know I'll love.


@lex said...


Hungryduo said...

Hubby never make a handmade card for me :(
He keeps complaining he is not good with diy and art works and what's more, he is a lazy person.

There are always good and bad side lar..
For eg, genuine branded watch is good. Though it's a lot more expensive but the watch can really lasts long!
And if you happen to be a messy person who don't handle stuffs with care then the card might be spoiled lor.. (like how Hubby accidentally folded the handmade card that i made for him TT^TT)

- Hunnie <3

teddY said...

It just confuses me why teenagers nowadays prefer to express their affection for each other with material gifts. And just like you, I heard a loud thud as my jaw fell to the ground after learning that he actually bought a white gold necklace for his girlfriend, and still fretting over what to give her for Valentine's Day.

Expressing true love and affection do not need money, or monetary gains, as an avenue. A simply sweet gesture, the simplest sweet words, the most sincerely and simplicistic gift will suffice. Instead of folding paper stars yourself, people would just get a bag of them from the shop. Instead of getting a simple rose, people buy a bouquet of 9999 roses. Instead of writing pieces of short notes and stuffing them inside a jar, people rush to the shop, get a Valentine's day card and just fill in their names, or perhaps a Googled love poem inside (if they have time)...

What happened to true, undying love that cannot be expressed in terms of monetary gains?

War186 said...

Great rant. I comment again later when I'm not tired lol.

Kelly said...

I think sometimes receiving gifts are quite sien, because it tends to be almost similiar, nothing special and sometimes i think u can see the same gift in town!! So i prefer something "special"....if DIY, hahahah, i don think kl would know anything about it...

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

I only give gf & kiss & a poke on valentine day! Wah if gf ask for gold & diamone.....died lah! how u find gf!!!
Nut I still think BOBBY very lucky to have u as gf!!!
'Cock Sing Fark Chai' Happy CNY!!!

wen said...

You are lucky. I have never received DIY cards from any of my bfs before. And really, how many guys out there are willing to spend few hours of their time making cards for their gfs?

lizzie said...

an ex once tried to surprise me by filling my room with roses while i was in school. when i got back, instead of feeling loved, i was pissed. he was undeniably romantic, but from a realist's standpoint, it was a waste of money and effort. needless to say, we broke up soon after.

teddY said...

Hey Nonnie sorry for the double comment, but heh Happy Chinese New Year! May you have a great year ahead :) hoozah!

Bobby said...

Happy Chinese New Year Spiritual Garden! Your owner/Nonnie is in Sibu now so that's why she could not update you. She want to greet you Happy Chinese New Year and she will be back in few days.

Sha said...

"old" pple like us will be happy enough if our bfs even bother to remember its valentines day. Gifts are seriously a bonus. And flowers a miracle. lol.

Jan Shim said...


One word: E51

Yes, it makes sense!

Datul said...

Wa..This got you thinking eh? Kids nowadays, ought to know : material thing does not equal long-term happiness, and for that matter, love.That's my opinion. If you found out that gf cheated on you, what do you do?

a. Ask for the necklace back and be prepared to be called "buruk siku"

b. Do nothing but regretting how much money-gone-down-the-drain for life

c. I dunno -- you tell me

Anyway, so touching what, when your honey bent down on one knee, with the sunset glowing behind him and the sea breeze give you sexy2 hair,and him producing.....a chocolate gelato?? haha. I don't know abt you but I'd find that gesture romantic also..

Ultimately, it's the thought that really counts. I mean, if a man is willing to put,presumely, ample amount of time and energy in turning up with a surprise and/or a gift - he must really love the femme,no? And,ahem, there shouldn't be any reason why he should discontinue his romantic traits lol

Anonymous said...

So far my boyfriend buy me things I needed for our special occasions such as dvd player (which is way cheaper than a white gold necklace), a printer and mobile phones. He hardly bought me cards though. He said he's just bad at expressing his feeling through words. We've been together for 7 years now and so far things he bought for me are useful! Well for me, at least. Hehehe

K said...

Man I want a GF!!! Its hard to find some HAWT babes who is cute and not money sucking black holes!

//end rant

catherine said...

i am stuck between love and money. we cant just ignore the fact that he is broke!!! you should check out my blog