Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Queit House

This is going to be a very personal entry, and a long one too.

I bet most of you who had been following my blog for quite some time noticed that I seldom mentioned about my father. All I can say is that, I don't actually have a "Happy Family" with lots of family photo hanging on the wall and "Family Day" never existed in my dictionary.

Sometimes I even feel that my life will be so much easier without his presence. I don't hate him but I wouldn't use the word "Love" on him too.
Pathetic isn't it?

* * * * *

It is today's afternoon when my auntie (next door neighbour) received a phone call from her friend saying that there's a car accident happened and a man got hit wearing blue checked shirt was lying on the floor and she thought he looks like my father.

While I was marking papers in my room, I actually heard my aunt yelled and asked her husband what my father was wearing justnow when he left the house so I got this bad feeling about it. I immediately get off my chair and walked out from my room, there stood my aunt who was just walking toward my house telling me that there's a chance that my father might be involved in a car accident.

I changed quickly and dashed out the house with my aunt's company. I looked quiet and calm from the outside but deep down I can feel that my hands were shaking. Praying non-stop to God hoping it is not my father or maybe he did had an accident but only suffer minor injuries.

It was only when I turned in a road and wanted to stop the car at my father's working place, then my aunt told me that they had changed the location, the place that I thought my father's working at had already been closed down for years and they'd changed their office to another area...

I felt so guilty and ashamed of myself. It shows that I had taken note of my father very lightly. I had never asked him anything about his work or how he feels. I make a very lousy daughter. I was so afraid that it's too late.

We went to the Seria clinic and the staffs heard nothing about an accident. Hoping that there might be some misunderstandings in this matter, I insisted that we should go and check out the working place just to confirm.

While on the way there, my phone rang and its from a friend that I seldom kept in touch with. I pulled over and picked up the phone.

"Hello, King ah... My father is looking for you. Can you call him back? It's regarding your father..."

My tears were rolling while I dialed the number. Uncle (my friend's dad + my ex-boss from my first job in a workshop) told me that my father was sent to the KB hospital already. I couldn't talk anymore. I forced myself to squeeze out the word "Thank you"and hung up. Told my auntie who's sitting beside me where my father was.

I couldn't cry. I had to stay calm so that I can continue driving down to KB. My aunt comfort me by saying that my father would be in good hands, the professionals would take care of him. All I had in my mind was hoping my father is alright.

The 18km long highway that I traveled everyday seems so long that its taking me forever to reach. Childhood memories of my father piggy-back me in the park flashed back. I remembered I used to sit on his lap while watching tv and asked silly questions, we would fight for the tv because I wanted to watch TV1 cartoons and he preferred TV2.

Years after years I grew up and began to know what is right and wrong. Staying in a corner at the door and witnessed the horrible fight between my parents became a common scene in the house. Those images haunt me even up to this days. I learned that my father is a man with no responsibility and his bad temper had caused a lot of heart-break to our family.

Nevertheless, he's still my old man.

But I had to say that he changed over the years. Maybe because he's getting older and has less strength, or perhaps it's my beloved Buddha's work after going to the temple more often. Or because my mum had grown more patience while talking to a stubborn mule and walked away every time she sensed a fight. I don't know. I just hide in my own room and prefer to spend my time in front of the computer or TV.

* * * * *

I called up my mum's friend hoping that she'll be able to locate my mum and passed her the news. I definitely need to force my mum taking a mobile phone with her because it's so hard to find her if she's out there working. She just need to learn how to pick up the phone, that's it.

While arriving the hospital, we saw my father lying on the stretcher and was carried down by the staffs. We got stopped in front of the emergency room. My father was unconscious and had blood all over his shirt. I stood beside the counter and saw them transferring my father from the stretcher to the bed... I just couldn't hold it anymore.

Tears just rolled down my cheek and I can no longer feel my hands. My mind was totally blank until the nurse came out and asked for my father's detail. I asked how was my father and she told me that they're still checking on him, had to wait for the doctor.

Minutes after minutes we stood there. Every time any medical staffs walked out my aunt and I would dashed upon and asked... Until one of them told us that he's already conscious and it'll be fine, then we felt relieved and sat on the chairs.

My mum arrived with her friends after a couple of minutes. Like mother like daughter, she looked calm from the outside but I could see watery eyes on her face. I told her that the nurse said he's fine and we don't have to worry much.

Just minutes later after everyone sat down (there's 4 aunties plus my mum and one lady, me... I bet the nurse must be thinking.. "Which one is the wife?" or "Chinese also can have 4 wives kah?"), one of the nurse came forward and asked who's the wife of the patient. I pointed to my mum and asked why. She handed out her mobile phone and said, "Helen cari."

Feeling puzzled, my mum took the phone and talked to this "Helen".

"Ha? Which Helen? I have a lot of friends by the name of Helen wor..."

(Now you know where my straight-forward genes come from)

It was my mum's friend who worked in a law firm. The news spread so fast. She asked if my father is ok already and terus skip to the point.... COMPENSATION!

~#%!#$&@#&%&!#@ ???

What the fish?

What an absurd thing to say!

My mum just layan-ed and said "yes..yes... yes....." through out the whole conversation. There my mum, typical Asian female who's always too afraid to deal with things and prefer to stay quiet when things happen. If it was me on the phone, I would have [insert international hokkien word for intercourse] her on the phone and asked if she's out of her mind. There's my father in the emergency ward and all she care is MONEY?

No wonder she's 40+ and unmarried.

(Okay.. I'm being mean here. But won't you get pissed too if the same thing happen to you?)

She grabbed my contact number and called my mobile phone instead reminding my mother has to go to her office later. Just 5 minutes later after hanging up, she called again... She said can't claim from the other party's car insurance because that car doesn't have a road tax.

. . . . . . From the policeman, I came to know that the driver was a Malay guy same age as me and driving a car without road tax. According to his statement, my father was too near to him when turning into the simpang and he couldn't brake in time to avoid him and thus hit him from the side and my father lost balance and fell down from his bicycle, and hit hard on to the concrete road and injured.

He has 4cm stitches at the back of his head and some bruising all over his arms and face. After several check-ups ,the doctor told us that we don't need to worry. He'll be fine.


He then got transferred to a normal ward and we finally get to see him. His right eye was swollen and I can see from bruising around his fingers. His head was wrapped with bandages and my mum's friend was joking that he "Naik Haji" already. After checking that he really is fine, my mum came up with a very... don't know what to say question.

"Where's your new glasses? Did you lost it?
Sayang also since you just bought it last Sunday..."


Please do not misunderstand that my mum is heartless or cruel or whatever, it's just that my father is the very careless and clumsy type.... (Now I know where my clumsiness comes from!) and he bought it with his own hard earned cash so it'll be such a pity if he lost it.

* * * * *

Random stuffs-

Yesterday was the day that I received most phone calls.

Yesterday was the second time in this month I went into the Balai Polis.


Yesterday was the day I learned that Seria people are very kaypo but not helpful at all...

My aunt's friend told her that there were people who witnessed the whole thing and saw my father lying on the road yet no one bothers to help! Everyone was just basically driving at a speed of 10km/hr just to see what happen and who was it.


I have no idea who's the kind soul who sent my father to the hospital but thank you very much.


I just got explanation from my mum telling that the young driver who hit my dad came over my place and apologized. He didn't left the scene like I thought. In fact, he came down and blocked the cars coming from behind to make sure my father wouldn't get run over.

And there was lots of people who came down and offered help.. Just that they didn't dare to move my father since he already passed out and had blood all over.

Fellow people of Seria, you didn't disappoint me after all!
I know I can count on you!



And one more thing... Can the ambulance go any faster?

When I received the call from uncle, he told me my father is already on his way to the KB hospital. But how come when I arrived the hospital (I was only driving 80~100km/hr), the ambulance just arrived too...

Maybe they thought my father's case is not serious kua?

怎么救人可以就的那么慢, 但说到赔偿损失的部分又会有人变得那么积极?


Not forget to mention the kind police from Seria who still remembered me and called me up when this happen, he was telling my mum that we should go pray pray and "Buang Soi". LOL!

Somemore he just had to say..

"Last few weeks the daughter, now the father..." malu can die on the spot!

Don't ask, I will not tell you what happen. Those who needs to know, know it already then can liao~

Kaypoh less and make our world
a better place to stay!

* * * * *

My old man is discharging tomorrow, I mean this Saturday.

* * * * *

Some little things I found out after this incident:

1. SweeLeong's dad know my dad because they work together *jaw drop*

I was shocked when SL told me that his dad is going to visit mine, and he said it's no surprise since their colleagues. Man.. Seria damn small lah. I jokingly told SL then next time if he comes pick me up then I can say he's so-and-so son.

SL said it is MY father who told his father that he always come to pick me out.

LOL! I can imagine that...

"Eh, your son always come find my daughter leh.. "

2. There's no point my mum brings food and drink over. My dad's bedside drawer is stuffed with oranges, apples, Milo, Nestum and tins of biscuits. Terror I tell you.


JaMiLLa said...

While start reading this post, I can sense something unusual right ahead for me to pay attention infront of my monitor.

So I keep my eyes on the screen till I can feel my hand pores (毛细孔) stood up! Not only this, when king mentioned about how she felt about her father, my tears started to circulate around my eyeball.

I can feel what message she's trying to deliver. As a child in the family, he/she don't wish to see his/her lovely parents quarrelling or had a fight right infront of the eyes.

Because a fight and quarrel gives a bad impression to the kind soul of a child. They will feel unhappy and unsecure in a moment. It's normal for a child to stay away and hide in their room. I have this kind of action too but it's in different situation.

What I feel like saying is no matter how worst both parents are communicating each other, being as a child of them, we still love them in the bottom of our heart.

Although some child might hate the parent for giving them the unhappiness, I still believe that they love their parent in the deepest of the heart. They hate them because they feel the hurt from the parent. Why feel hurt? Because they love the parents. Hate is definitely the opposite of Love.

As for King, I believe that you love your father although you would not use the word on him. But from your tears and your reaction, it tells you everything esp. when you feel like hes in the danger. This is the best situation to tell you whether you care for your father. Basically, it works for everyone of you all.

So King, start to love your father in any action.

I am proud of you being so courage to say this out because not everyone would like to mention this in the public esp in blogosphere.

I believe your father will be alright. Don't worry! Try to sayang him more. Don't feel guilty. Be happy! Smile always, friend!

I'm Choonie. said...

I need to 'buang soi'!!! Kay Poh less indeed makes the world a better place!

Juan Pablo said...

Nonnie~ thanks for sharing this touching post! I hope things will be well for you. Life is too short to be sad or sorry. Some things we can't change but we make the situation better by being happy ang being positive in whatever way we can! To me, it is all up to us how we want to see our life. Good luck!
My father is old now. I call him every week to say hello and chat. He always ask me when can I come home. I told him not yet. In Islam, we believe that if you treat your parents well, then when we are old, our children will look after us well. So, there is much onus on my part to ensure my parents are happy and taken care of. Good luck!

uglyfatchick (Chicky) said...

Every family has their own set of problems.. “家家有本难念的经”

Glad to hear that your old man's alright. =)

Anonymous said...

i'm glad ur father is okay. Spend as much time as u can with ur father bcoz no one else can replace their place in the children's heart. I deeply regret not doing so and not a minute has passed without me missing my father so much after he passed away.

teddY said...

Hey Nonnie, I'm really sorry to hear about your father being involved in the accident, but thank God that driver has the integrity to stay back and help your father instead of just escaping from the accident scene. In my country (Malaysia, that is) most of the time accidents are usually hit-and-run cases, since people tend to avoid the responsibility of dangerous driving. And it is really kind of him to apologise to you, because many people will most probably say, "Let's take the case to court." or something.

Like what the other commentors have said every family is unique and each family is plagued by different problems. So I hope that things will work out better in your family in the future, because I think the incident would have bonded each member in your family closer to each other.

The accident reminded my of my uncle's tragic death in Indonesia a few years ago, where he works in a CD manufacturing plant. When the crane was hoisting the heavy crates containing the CDs the metal chains snapped and my uncle got crushed, and I cried for weeks after getting the news because he was one of the closest uncle I've ever had. I know the pain of losing someone you love, and I knew the grieve you experienced when you're not sure what happened to your dad. It's a normal response, and this shows that you still care about him :)

Love is all around. Seize the chance and don't wait till tomorrow.

Take care :) I wish your father a speedy recovery!

Jewelle said...

Nonnie, sorry to hear about your dad's accident but glad that he's alright.

Tina said...

Gosh, Nonnie.. I'm so sorry to hear about your father.. and I cried reading about your past!

This account reminds me of my dad's accident, only I didn't see him so bloody.. but even then I cried my eyes out! Well, not really, but you know what I mean.

Anyway.. it was the same with my dad's accident in Seria as well, about the lawyer! We were just on the way, we were on the highway from Bandar to KB!, and some lawyer called my number up and asked to represent us. We haven't even seen my dad! I can't believe such people. Tsk.

Also, there is a reason why ambulance don't go so fast. This is my theory lah ah, so you can discard it if you like. ;) I think with road accident victims, there is a possibility of an internal injury, and if they go fast, the journey can/will get bumpy and it'll worsen the injuries. Or, for external ones, sakit wah if the ride gets bumpy. LOL.

And yea, people don't move those who were involved in accidents suka-suka hati one.. Nanti ada patah or anything, so susah again.

I'm glad your father is okay, and will be discharged soon. Even though things change, nothing changes the fact that he is your father. :)


Iwan Sanchez said...

when i read this entry, i felt a tinge of sadness.. like what jamilla said, when i read that how much u tried to control ur tears, and eventually u cried it out...

nonnie, everyone also have some family problems and i am not an exceptional here.. i cant disclose it here and will share it with u when i see u on msn ok..

Be strong ok? i am so glad that he is fine now and i wish ur dad a speedy recovery too..

About the compensation thingy, it is so rude of her.. and like what others said, its a feat for u to share this with everyone..

Hope all is fine between the whole family members.

be strong and be bappy always ok?

war186 said...

You just made me cry there. I don't what else to comment now. Anyway, glad your father's ok. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

What a sad post. I feel for you girl. Hope your dad gets better.. as well as your relationship with him.

Tasha said...

Thank Goodness your dad is alright. I hope he have a speedy recovery. I lost my dad couple of months ago and I am so glad that you don't have to go through things that happened to me.

No matter how bad parents are... they're still parents.. without them we don't exist. And one thing you will truly appreciate it when they don't exist!! So, we can't take things for granted.

Couple of days a cute little girl died because was hit by her parents.. it was on the news.. So I guess there's much worst parents out there.

But I am very glad your dad is alright.. I think things will work out with you and your family :) Especially when we all start to grow older and realized how much important family is!!

Much love! Tash

Nonnie King said...

Thank you everyone, for your kind concern on this matter.

I read word by word for all the comments posted by you all and felt a lot better after those encouraging words.

I'll learn to care about him more.