Mandarin Lesson 101

 

Out of nowhere, Bobby requested that I should speak Mandarin to him and strictly Mandarin only. Oh well, maybe I always complain him… “Eeyer, very sien lah you. We paktoh so many years liao your Mandarin still like “poop”!”

Oh yes, you should listen to him when he tried to speak Mandarin to my mum then my mum answered him back in broken Hokkien… Haih, if you see that scene ah, you’ll probably think it’s a Vietnamese drama with no subtitles.

And, he sibeh suka placed his order in Mandarin in Chinese restaurant when the waitresses there have no idea what the heck was he trying to say.

Hmm… maybe that’s why that Orang-Pisang always kolomee lah.

“Siaw-jie, kolomee yi ge.”

Tell you, my Mr. Punctual the Orang Pisang (Gosh! I’m really good in giving him new nicks!) knows nothing about “Penjodoh Bilangan”. Whatever thing also he uses “ge” – which is “sebuah” in Chinese.



I’m teaching him Mandarin vocabulary now.

The basic one like numerals he okay lah, but not when it exceeds 5 digits. And lately, he’s more keen in knowing the vocabs for anatomy like eyes, mouth, nose, ears.. you know, the super kindy stuffs.

And last 2 days, he asked me what is fingers in Mandarin.

Me: Shou Zhi

Him: Soul Zeeee

Me: Shou Zhi

Him: Sou Ji

Me: Shou. Zhi. Zhi – like how you pronounce Z-H-I

Him: But I pronounce Z-H-I as Zeeeeee.

Me: *slaps head* See, that’s why I think I should teach you Han Yu Pin Yin first. The phonics in Mandarin is different from English bah. You can pronounce it as if you’re speaking English leh.

Him: …..

Me: Shou-Zhi

Him: *struggling* shoou… zi

Me: Bah, can liao. Finger nail is Zhi-Jia.

Him: Zee-Siak?

Me: Zhi-JIAK (Yes, my Seria slang came out.. Hahhaa. I call it Zhi-Jiak instead of Zhi-jia in real life one)

Him: Zhi… Jak.

Me: (Malas layan already….)

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Then yesterday I tested him again.

Me: Bah, what is finger in Chinese?

Him: Soou Shi ? ….. Souu Ji ? Shoou……Zeeeee

Me: Shou Zhi. You just pronounce is as the sleeping Zzzzzzzzz with the buzzing sound lah. Shou-Zzzzzz

Him: Ok. Sou-Zzzzz

Me: Finger nail leh?

Him: Sou Ja, Sou Jak…. Zeee … I forgot!

Me: Zhi Jiak! Just remember, fingernail is use to gorek sai. Eat sh*t, Jiak Sai! So.. it’s Zhi-Jiak.

(Yes, I know my method of teaching damn tidak lulus one. But teaching Bobby this kind of person must use special sikit punya method)

And it helps!

Me: What’s finger?

Him: Sou..Zzzzz?

Me: Then what’s fingernail?

Him: Sou…. Sai, Jiak-Sai… Sou-Jiak. No, Zzzz-Jiak!


Not bad huh?

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And yesterday when we’re shopping for my water bottle.. because I clumsily dropped mine and now I have to buy a new one. I’m looking for water bottle with the capacity of 2L though.

We walked around Utama Grand looking at price tags and it was like a outdoor activity with me asking him to read those prices in Mandarin.

$2.50 – Liang kuai pan

$3.90 – San kuai…………………………………….. jiu?

(He took longer time for reading numbers like eight and nine because he had to mentally recall starting from 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…)

$16.55?

Se liu kuai…………. Impossible Pan Pan?


I tell you, I was laughing so loudly when I heard the “Pan Pan”.

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And now, I’m trying to teach him the difference between Buy and Sell.

Buy - Mai3 and Sell – Mai4


Dear friends and colleagues of Bobby,
Feeling bored and sien with your work? Why don’t you go to him now and ask him what is Finger, Fingernail, Buy and Sell in Mandarin?

Have fun~

 

 

(Bi, I know you’re cursing me Kanasai in your heart now, right?)