14, FOURTEEN!
At that age, I baru know the truth about "REPRODUCTION".
It was a little late I know.
Living in a typical Chinese family where parents are all too shy to give sex education, and there's no such thing as Internet, what more to say Google and Wikipedia, my Science textbooks are the one telling me all about "Reproduction". They first show me how does the "male reproduction organ" looks like too. Hehehe.
Back to the topic, does anyone know the perfect age to start dating and have a boyfriend?
Hard to answer right?
Okay, let me ask using the other way.
If you're a parent yourself, at what age you'll agree to let them "paktoh"?
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I know most teenagers start the whole dating thing so much earlier now. I had my so-called "First Love" when I was 17. Old huh? Oh well, wasn't laku back in my secondary bah.
But even at the age of 17, I already knew that 'he' wouldn't be the one because we're still so young! You just can't talk about marriage to a seventeen because there are still endless possibilities.
What more to say when it comes to the kids (Sorry, I'm using the word "kid" to address those under 18 here). I was once a "kid" too.
Nisah and I were having a conversation yesterday about relationships. She told me that she has a niece/cousin I can't remember who just broke up with her boyfriend and get wounded very badly. She claimed that she couldn't fall in love anymore.
Nya, got so serious kah?
Not end of the world yet leh. Still so young. Like Nisah says, "You have no idea what you're missing out!"
But somehow it makes me wonder, we all know it's kind of impossible for young couples to work out what, why still want to date/ have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Because everyone has one, I want to have one too?
Because it's cool?
Because he/she's the one? (-__-)?
Because I got nothing better to do?
Because I don't want to get teased by my friends that I'm still a virgin?
(I'm so dead offending all the young teens!)
Honestly, I don't have anything against dating in a young age. As long as you think you're mature enough to handle (a break up), it doesn't effect your studies and the most important one, not getting pregnant or make someone pregnant.
A guy once told me that he dated a junior in his secondary. It was all good until he realised that, his girlfriend liked (The word "love" is too strong here) him because he's a senior. She was proud of it, more face.
I know.... what the heck.
Okay, undeniable there are couples out there who successfully get married even they dated each other at the age of 13 or 14. So far, I only know one pair. The chances are like.... 0.001646212% I guess.
(A stupid percentage I simply make up, do not take it seriously)
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(I know not all) Teens nowadays fall in and out of love so easily. Only in a nick of time, their relationship "upgrade" from friends to lovers then "downgrade" to enemies again.
I know I sound like a grandma nagging here, but.... do listen to your parents. What they say make sense. Please do not think that you're "old" enough to think and you know-it-all.
Like my friends and I always say,
“毛都還沒長齊就學人談戀愛。 花的還是父母的錢呢。”
(Stupid Google translated it stupidly into "
Mao Qi school who have never had a romance. The parents still spend the money?")
What I just said is, "Even the hairs are not fully grown yet and now start to date already. The money spent comes from parents somemore".
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Of course there no rules saying that we only can date after 18, and we're never too old to fall in love too.
But what we all should know is whether we're mature enough to handle it or not. Have a heart big and strong enough to start and say goodbye to a relationship. (It would be best if we don't even need to say bye at all)
Lastly, 祝有情人终成眷属。 I know the saying is damn outdated, but I can't find any other more appropriate greeting than this.
p/s: Please do not take what I said seriously. It is just my thoughts, my own point of view. You may disagree and debate with me. But I certainly hope that I won't be getting any hate comments from youngsters.
p/p/s: Nothing happens between Bobby and I that makes me blogged about this. We're still one fun loving couple yoh!
p/p/p/s: Tell me when you did you have your first love lah. Share share mah.
What I just said is, "Even the hairs are not fully grown yet and now start to date already. The money spent comes from parents somemore".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Of course there no rules saying that we only can date after 18, and we're never too old to fall in love too.
But what we all should know is whether we're mature enough to handle it or not. Have a heart big and strong enough to start and say goodbye to a relationship. (It would be best if we don't even need to say bye at all)
Lastly, 祝有情人终成眷属。 I know the saying is damn outdated, but I can't find any other more appropriate greeting than this.
p/s: Please do not take what I said seriously. It is just my thoughts, my own point of view. You may disagree and debate with me. But I certainly hope that I won't be getting any hate comments from youngsters.
p/p/s: Nothing happens between Bobby and I that makes me blogged about this. We're still one fun loving couple yoh!
p/p/p/s: Tell me when you did you have your first love lah. Share share mah.
37 comments:
My first love..when i was 19(true story mah..) i know..pathetic eyy..hahaha..inda laku jua...got engage when i was 21 with the 'first love'..now i'm 28 coming 29 this year..sooo old udah..hehehe..we broke up in 2005..-the end-
my advice : never get engage in such a long2 tym..kawin sajalah..apa lgi tunggu2...hehehe
my first love was when i was 15 =S or so i believe hehe. Don't know when I'd allow my kids-to-be to date.
I like this post, it's actually all so true =)
i think i started having a serious gf when i was 17..
oh no. that eurasian bf was my 2nd bf somemore. =X i think i'll let my kid to date anytime they want as long as they tell me bout it. guess the teens who ended up being so "wounded" are because they dont have somewhere else to hold them when they fell.
first love arh.. I don't know leh. ex boyfriend got a few lah. but when it comes to love, I also don't understand.
i don't have any first love..haha..but i don't mind geh,i believe one day i'll still find someone who loves me as much as i love him.=)
btw,i have a friend of mine,i feel pity of her cuz she's willing to cut her wrist just to get her bf back..and she's only 15 that time..sigh..
i think i'm quite open minded when it comes to love geh.same as jamie,i'll let my children to date with the condition that they won't affect their studies because of this.^^
Nureen : I don't know but, for me getting engaged is a waste of money and time. Like you say, terus kahwin saja, why wait.
Well.. Unless either one party is leaving for another place and not coming back in short term.
And getting engaged makes both of them more committed and secure, then different story lah.
Oh yah, thanks for dropping a comment. =^_^=
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Nana : Glad you like it because I thought youngster like you will throw rotten eggs at me saying such nonsense.
Hehehe.
Rebbe : Same like me lah, 17.
I got dumped for no reason at all. How yours ended?
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Jamie : Sibeh ganas ah you! He was your second boyfriend lagi.
But I like and agree on what you say lah, those who ended up so "wounded" are because there's no one to catch them when they fell.
Or maybe they should have wait till older so it won't hurt that much when they fell, or at least the wound will heel by itself.
Question: What if your daughter bring back a "chou-ah-beng" full of piercing, smoking, shaking his leg as if got motor there, green color hair, will you still be ok with that?
Christina : Hmmm...
You can just consider your current boyfriend as your first love mah.
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Pauline : You will surely find someone who's worth waiting for. Maybe not now, but sure in the future will have one.
15, suicide? My goodness... She only spent like, 1/6 of her like (assuming she can live till 90yrs old), is there nothing left that's worth living for?
I mean... if she can't live without that guy, how did she lived before she met him then?
Sigh...
Hehe, I'll let my children date if they maintain their studies, not getting bad habits and the most important thing, I don't want to be a grandmother that soon.
chou ah beng? ok wor. as long as my daughter lets me know what's going on between them. :P
I was 18. He was 3 years younger. Enough said. Hehe.
My first ever serious boyfie. when I was 18. Late bloomer kah tu? Hehe! And we broke up for no apparent reason - well, he didnt say exactly what and I was too naive to ask either. And I am now coming 27 :)
yes, i love this post too!!
Hahahhaa!!!
I tink i had my 1st love when i was 17 too??
I had my puppy love when i was 8 yrs old...
Yup.. i very gatal one...
But now single liao...
I just cannot tahan teenagers who say, u are the one for me lah, i wanna marry you lah, etc.. when they are just 14, 15 yrs old....
Haiz....
As if they can foresee the future...
Muahahahahahahaha!!
Teenhood is when you discover about the different kinds of boys, to have plenty, PLENTY of crushes (I know I had, and I enjoyed it), and learn right from wrong. You get hurt, the first time would be the hardest but you'd learn something from it.
But kids these days get engaged at 15! It's true. They will regret it because they didn't give themselves a chance to explore all they can, when they can.
we broke up pasal i dont know.. im sure there was a reason(s) but i cant remember what there were..
Jamie : *speechless*
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Wardah : Woooo.... kakak-adik-love-relationship~ *Ahhem*
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S.A.S : 18 is ok for our age, but I'm sure it's kinda late for youngster nowadays.
I think all first love died with no apparent reason! It's either too stupid to be remembered or, there's no reason at all.
Iwan : Same same! I also cannot tahan when I heard those "forever" thing from young teens! As if it's really going to happen.
*hi fi*
Hehe. Probably 17, 18 is the average age for South-East-Asian to fall in love kua?
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Sha : Ee seh, plenty of crushes! I know I secretly admire a guy since form 1 to form 5. So funny lah.
Engaged at 15? Like what you say, they will regret it. Even my auntie who get married at 22 told me to cherish my freedom now
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Rebbe : Hahha. Probably it's too minor or stupid to be remembered.
Unlike me, my first (stupid) boyfriend just told me that he want to break up just because he want to be single.
Some our of grandparents got married at the age of 14 lagitu ;).
I remember a friend's grandma told him. Aiyor so lousy you, 16 already still no girlfriend. Last time, Ah Ma married and haf your papa already when I was 14.
I guess sometimes society likes to have an age limit for everything. Legal age to drink? Legal age to drive? Legal age to date? Legal age to lose your virginity?
Age is never a good indicator of maturity and ability to judge right or wrong. I guess one can date anytime they want - getting hurt is a typical process of growing up anyway :)
As for first love - no comment ;)
I guess dating at a young age now is very common since we are very much influence by the Europe culture. I would probably feel dating at young age is no harm as we experience our first crush or love as u call it and breaking up doesn't came up in the mind.
I mean if you have a gf at a very young age, of course it would be silly to say it is silly as remember there's always a first for everything n like those people who dated earlier is probably because they either see too much tv or they love girls so much at their earlier age ;p
I am 18 and I have not even find someone I like. I'm not really interesting in devoting to a relationship to such a young age, but I do not mind if others do so - I will wish them happiness.
Puppy love do not reallylast long, but in some cases they can last almost forever. Relationship is a two way process - both partners give and take. Most puppy love is only a blind crush of a person on another and so this explains why this kinda relationship don't really last long.
Love is a really complicated thing. My mom says that she's not okay about be getting involved in a relationship, but I bet to disagree with her. If in the future my child got into a relationship, I will not go against it but I will tell him / her how to handle it, and teach her how to balance it between school works and other stuff.
All the best to all the lovers on earth. All the happiness to you.
P.S. Have a nice weekened nonnie!
First & only love = 15. Well, I had too much to talk about it, so uea, better talk nothing about it, haha.
Well, I love yifei now, so yea. forget about that. =D
Thanis : Hahahahhahaha.
My friends and I often teased each other by saying, "Aiyoooh, 23 liao lor. If "good life" already become mother liao."
What to do, we pai-mia bah, no marriage, no children, some are evens till studying.
I like your comment, the part saying that age is never a good indicator of maturity and ability to judge right and wrong.
p/s: Karit eh, don't share your love story. :p
Just kidding
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Bi : Your second paragraph is a bloody long sentence with no coma. And I have trouble saying it in one go.
Ya lo hor.. someone started paktoh so early unlike me mah. Hehehehe.
Teddy : I'm amazed to hear all these from a 18yrs old though.
And I hope you can find someone you like, or love in the future.
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Ing Siang : Hmmm... I thought you have a girlfriend currently? And she is certainly not YiFei.
Hehehe. I want to marry Gary Chou Ge can ah?
my first love was when I was 2... I fell in love with a male Barbie doll in a shopping mall... and at there for the rest of the day, waiting for my dad to bring it home for me... HEHE...
I haven't had a first love yet. Hahahaha.. So pathetic. But it's okay.. I'm hoping that my first will be my last.. and me, his first and his last. If it's possible lah. Hehhee. Haha.. So novel-like.lol
My answer to your question:
But somehow it makes me wonder, we all know it's kind of impossible for young couples to work out what, why still want to date/ have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Because he is so super damn leng zai. Cannot help myself la.
Hehe. =D
But underneath the 'superficialism' there still lies a person with all the flaws that make everyone human.
This post puts truth into words. I like it. =)
I like this post. Makes me wanna go on and on about how I started off with my boyfriend. I had a crush on him since 1998 in my form one till I went to college, and only then, we talked and we became an item.
I know of your site, through Irene, my cousin-in-law (shabby chic woman).
wow.. I am late again. The bus late ba. Relationships, iv'e got nothing to say, the memories implanted, is the why many couples can't stand a breakup. After breakup, throw things here and there, say what bad about the other person. But when together like love love like that.
Nope, I had only one love, and we broke up 2 years and 14 days and 2 hours and 20 mins ++ ago. =D
P.S: That's not some figures I make up, it's 95% accurate, provided that I have a 5% rate of counting wrongly(using my fingers), haha. =D
And I am the kind who 'can't let go/ not mature enough to accept a break-up', but still, I think 'pak toh' at young age is ok, as long as you can think well. =) She gave me enough to make me who i am today, a definitely much more determine and tough person. =)
Jee : Ah moi, that doesn't count lah.
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Atul : I wish that you're meet your Mr. Right and make you hope come true.
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S.Y. : Hahhahahaa. Just because he's leng zai?
Leng Zai heartless ah you ever heard? (Not all lah I know)
Thanks for liking what I wrote.
Aenah : Wow, that's impressing. I'd secretly admire a guy since form 1 till form 5 too. But he didn't liked me.
Hehe. And now my friends and I always kacau and teased him for not going after any of us.
Does Irene still reads my blog? I was surprised that you know my blogsite through her.
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Lausai Head : Yup, the worst thing in a relationship is the breaking up part.
And it is almost impossible to be friends anymore.
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Ing Siang : Wah lao eh.. Even mins you also calculate! Ganas! Hhahahhaa
The good thing in a relationship is that, it makes us grow up.
=^_^=
mine? after i graduate from UBD *LOL*
that wud be after september 11th 2003 hehehe... my parents r not strict.. i made that rule for myself...
i started dating when i was 15. i was dumped after three months ;(
@ Nonnie: Definitely. If the relationship never happen, I wouldn't had been the me today. My studies improved due to her, and almost everything of mine changed due to her, for better of course. =D
Love's good, no matter how much it hurts. =) The hurt will be gone one day, but the sweet memories would be ours forever. =D
Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year
old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She placed the shell to her ear and screamed.
There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back!
LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!
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