Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Male, or Female?

If you have a choice, will you choose to be a
male
, or female?

Not saying going for a transexual surgery, what I mean is.. born with it.


* * * * *

For me, I'll definitely choose to be a girl, a woman.. Female that is.

Why? Let me tell you my reasons...

1. Females are excuse to be vain.. to be beauty & body conscious. We can have long or short hair, wear different colors of make up, go to beauty saloon and spa for some pampering. We can bring a mirror anywhere we go and look at it as long as we want.

And if a guy did the same thing.. he'll be labelled as "GAY".

2. It is OK if a female can't drive well, because she's a FEMALE. And if a guy drive very lauyah..he'll probably be teased for his entire life.

One more thing.. Accidents that ladies get involved in are usually the minor one like langgar tiang, or scratch the bumper. And the male drivers always think that they're super ganas in driving, like F1 driver like that.. zoom fast fast.. If accident, usually is those very serious one lor.

Agree?

3.
It is true that females have to go thru the pain and hassle caused by menstruation cycle once every month. But hey, look at the bright side. Remember the chocolates and the power and right to simply "hantam" (scold) our boyfriends/husband if we see anything we beh-song and blame it all the our periods. Kekekkee. The previous 7 days to be treated like a queen. No.. more than a queen... like a king's mother, Emperess (Tai-Hou).

4. Oh yah, we can wear either skirts or pants. And male.. only boring pants.. And if he wears a skirt out, he kana liat (stare/look) like an alien and might have the risk of kana throw rotten eggs somemore.

5. Mother's Day is always more popular than Father's Day. We only sing "世上只有媽媽好" (Translation: There's only mother good in the world <- I love crappy translation lah) and "天下的媽媽都是一樣的” (Translation: All the mothers in the world are the same). Even Spice Girls also sing "Mama" and not "Papa". No songs for father one leh.

And also...the lovely carnations~ So the 9 months of big tummy, no waistline, nauseous is worth it. Oh.. I forgot to mention, that is also a woman's golden 9 months.. everyone have to listen to a pregnant lady and make sure she doesn't get angry kan?

6. We get to buy so many different kind of things.. Take shoes for example. Sandals, boots, flats, heels, wedges....So many many choice. And man.. they only need three, slipper, leather shoe and sport shoes.

7. Man has the convenient of pee standing up, saving a lot of time spent in the toilet. But, women will never kana marah because they will not drip all over the place or kana suruh to aim properly.

8. It is super malu it a man is impotent having the need to use viagra or tongkat ali..And super malu to seek help from doctor leh..

By the way..how does a doctor confirm if a man is impotent?

9. Women don't need to watch out when we're zipping our pants and the pain from kana-ing the crotch is sure much more teruk for man than woman. Kan?

10. In a relationship.. woman gets chocolate, flowers and diamonds... And man, they'll get feed by f___ only. [You naught people know what should be filled in the blank one]

Meaning, if the relationship doesnt work, woman can at least sell or pawned the jewelries.

* * * * *

But that doesn't mean it's good to be a woman bor..

1. The milking part of our body gets saggy due to
gravitational forces and aging. And women has to work really hard to keep them 90 degree above the ground.

2.
Sizes are always simply assumed by lousy guys and mentioned like a joke. As for man, their size won't be revealed until the moment they dropped their pants.

3. The money spend on sanitary pads, beauty products and make up are enough to buy a car liao lor.

4. If a girl get pregnant before she gets married, she kana gossiped and say is stupid and rugi. And so daugthers always kana controlled, kana suruh stay at home and a curfew is given everytime she goes out.

Boy so free. Can simply go here and there.

5. If a girl sleep over at the guys house, she's cheap. She "offer" herself to the guys door and kana labelled as "slut".

6. The age range that a guy can date is so bloody big.. from 18 - 45.

When a guy is 18, he can date a 18 - 24.
When a guy is 28, he still can date a 18 - 34.
When a guy is 38, he still still can date 18 - 40.
When a guy is 48, he still still still can date 18 - 45.

Even a 80yrs old ah-pek also can marry a 18 years old!

Tell me, you still believe in "男女平等" meh?

"男女平等" - Fair in gender.

* * * * *

So, what you think? MALE or FEMALE?

* * * * *
Picture taken from "Transamerica"

NOTE: Please don't potray me as any of the examples I mentioned above okay. All those I said are simply made up for fun nya.

Don't get so serious lah.

27 comments:

JaMie said...

yeah. 1st. i will still choose to be female too. *flash mischivous grin*

Iwan said...

To Nonnie,
I still prefer to be a guy...

Guy need not go thru pains of giving birth..

And guys need not nag...

Guys need not spend lots of $$$$ to make themselves look good..

Muahahahaha!!!

GUYS dominate the world!!!!

Lolz!!!

Anonymous said...

i still prefer to be female..though i'm boyish..haha..boys play football,basketball,etc..girls can also play too..but when it comes to make up..girls can do it..same goes for clothes,they say you're cool and yeng if a girl wears boys clothes,but they say you're super weird if a boy wears dress or mini skirts..ha..

so..iwan,gals still can dominate the world..Lol..

Anonymous said...

ehhh all the boys in the world right now very vain one leh. u never go into boy's toilet in school to see people hoarding mirrors while they are sharpening their spiky hair and defining the hair with water.

who say girls are slow? my sister and mother always drive very fast one leh. at least 100km/h! very syok~ especially when cross the red light, best~

aiyo, boys very 大男人主义 can simply scold one. so now girls can loh. this called guys and girls equal. hahaha! gangsters, mostly guys, also simply angry one!

who say? scottish wear kilts wah! almost same to skirt.

the others... no comment. haha~ aiyo if guys impotent, just ask the girls already noe wah~!

about the milk thingy. guys can help wah... so just get married quickly and you get a helper. wahaha... can't believe i said that~

IngSiang said...

I am the kind of guy you called gay, haha. I am not sissy, just having wide interests(heh?). =)

I think both guys and girls have their pros and cons, I'll stay with who I'm.

I think menstrual cramp is the worst thing ever, I had a friend who have a serious issue about menstrual cramp. =(

Girls and boys are equal in some way, it just depends on how you think. If you look into the 'surface' factors, like job opportunities and stuffs, it sure looks pretty unfair, but if you really compare all the pros and cons, life's fair. =)

Nonnie King said...

Jamie : Only female knows how good it feels to be a female.

* * *

Iwan : Apalah, also got guy nag nag and nag one mah. My friend's father like that lor, he loves "reminding" my friend every 5mins to get her shower.

But Jason told me guys can be vain too bor. And I bet you got facial wash also lah.

As for "GUYS dominate the world", eh... not anymore liao lor.

* * *

Pauline : Hahaha. Good point. Guy can't wear girl cloths.

Nonnie King said...

Jason : Lucky my boyfriend not like that yet. I warned him, if one day I realised he looks into the mirror longer than me, it'll be a serious problem.

Hehe. I drive fast(er than my bf) too. Same like your sis and mom and rushing the red lights is so exciting!

Kilts and skirts are different mah. Only Scottish, or people staying in Scotland wear it. You don't see any ABC man wearing that on the street don't you.

..the others... no comment. haha~ aiyo if guys impotent, just ask the girls already noe wah~! <- Not applied to homosexuals.

And you last paragraph make me sweat eh! Man... Teenage boys nowadays..

* * *

Ing Siang : Wide interest huh?

Menstruation cycle is not that bad if a girl know how to maintain their health by eating the right stuff and not eating the wrong one. Sometimes we just got to follow those old ah-mah theories.

But it's just a hassle to check the pads every 2hr and worrying if there'll be any stains on the butt.

anakbrunei said...

The grass is always greener inside out.... ??

Anonymous said...

i'll go for female because after gave birth to 2 kids now,i realised how noble mother is!!We can feel the baby moving inside,that's a amazing feelin which father will never know.hehehe...

aint that a bitch said...

gonna stuff a wine bottle up ur ass ..haha

Anonymous said...

I'm not going to say which is better (but I do love being a guy!) but I will say that your lists are the funniest things I've read in the past few days!

Nonnie King said...

AnakBrunei : I guess what you say is right.

* * *

Orange : See, that's what a mother will say about motherhood, "Amazing Feeling".

* * *

Hadianto : Errr.. 18sx.

* * *

LSM : Funny ah? Sometimes I wish people give me compliments like "You're cute, sexy, pretty and so on" than "Funny" lor.

Hehehhee.

Anonymous said...

Very nice comparison Nonnie =) Well there is a lot of reasoning behind the scene when you post this thing I assume. Great work and I enjoyed reading this! Hehe!

I still prefer to be a guy. I don't want to get a C-section which is very painful, like what my mom said. I pity those going-to-be moms.

But yea girls do have their good side. At least they won't be blamed for temper-outburst... instead scientists STUDY these outbursts for research purposes.

LuUeE said...

I however, choose to be a rich.. monkey.. A cute one to be exact.. so that... i can pull down Ahem.. black panties.. and still look cute.. And oso eat everything in your fridge and still look cute..

Nonnie King said...

Rebbe : That's so damn true! Women just got to bring tissue everywhere there go.

And be amazed the time a woman can half squad (like those kungfu master) making sure their ass not in contact with the dirty toilet bowl.

* * *

Teddy : So mum gets more than dad.

Dad got a moment of pleasure and mom suffer for 10months. (1 extra month for breastfeeding and leakage)

Pros and Cons lah.

* * *

Luuee : Monkey also got gender what.

So you want to be a male or female rich monkey?

Anonymous said...

"i love the fact that i can pee standing up.. i can anywhere without squating.. :)"

I love that fact too rebel altho that luxury is somewhat less sweet when theres someone dancing around you while youre peeing trying to snap a photo of you penis hehehe ;)

Unknown said...

I still wanna be a male, coz I like to see lengluis. :P

lunaticgal said...

i want to be guy!! guy can hang out late nite, gay dun need to make-up (i dun like make-up so much)
guy dun need to stomach pain when period, guy dun need to wear sanitary pad (guy- imagine u wear a wet towel tog w your panty), guy can EAT ALOT! muahahhaa...
GUy dun need do house chore..
guy ah ma sayang more!
guy easier to wear clothes (the pattern almost the same)

then only thing is, guy need to spend alot on girls -.-

BaBy JeE said...

nonnie...I think you forgot to include the pain of giving birth... hehe... but I will have to agree with you that it's better to be a girl. ugly girls will become prettier with something ON... but ugly guys won't... kekekek

LuUeE said...

Nonnie; hahaha.. I wanna be a rich male monkey. at least when i spend the bling, not as much as a human. Coz the sports car is smaller and the house oso. And no need to go to fartini or pizza hut. Just eat pizang oredi can.

Merv Kwok said...

despite your convincing arguments, i'd still go with male hehehe

Nonnie King said...

YoungBruneian : Tell me who so pervertive? Tell me tell me!

* * *

Kenny : Girls also can see lengchai mah. Eventhough not much exist in this world. And they mostly turn out to be gay...

* * *

Lu Lu : Finally! One who wish she can switch gender!

It is a pretty nice offer to be a guy but still, girls have the right to say

What's mine is mine. And what's yours in mine too!

Nonnie King said...

Lu Jee : It is very paniful giving birth to a baby. And believe me, I'd heard so many horror and terrifying about it.

But like all mothers say, "It's worth it (having a baby of your own).

Oh well, regarding the "ugly" part.. Beauty is not everything in our life mah.

* * *

Rebbe : OMG! Don't tell me "youngBruneian" is talking about you ah!?

Can share the pics? Hahaha. Just kidding. I don't wanna see 'em. Later my eyes bangkak.

And guy sitting down peeing like a girl? So odd! It's like.. forcing a straw to bend down.

* * *

Luuee : And your properties will be mountains of Banana fields and bunch of pisang~

* * *

Merv : Why ah? Guys still choose to be male, and girls still want to be female.

Must be the convenience of standing up peeing and the push of blame to periods

Anonymous said...

hey some straws bend ok. and for the record that guy is my best friend. I will refer to him as my mate dave.

and yes mr rebel, it was that night outside no. 5 heheh

Anonymous said...

i'm slightly disturbed by your comments on men who TAKES CARE OF HOW THEY LOOK are automatically labelled gay. in fact i'm angry. that was insensitive.

women aren't the only ones who have the right to be beautiful and body conscious!

that's the problem with this country and the narrowmindedness of its people... and no wonder the majority of men in brunei are bad dressers.

Anonymous said...

"... we can't be free, until we learn to laugh at ourselves. Once you look in the mirror and see just how foolish we can be, laughter is inevitable. And from laughter comes wisdom ..."

=)

IngSiang said...

I seen a stain before, some girls told me and everyone laughed behind her, honest speaking, I did laugh too. =(

Anyway, hot drinks help right? I researched about it before, some what raising the temperature on area below your abdomen(where the pain occurs?) help(when the pain is here), eg. drink hot milo, massage that area with a hot towel and etc.

Erm, what's the correct food to eat? All I know is you shouldn't drink cold drinks. What else ah? No 'cold' food? In chinese we say 'liang', eat durian la? It's hot oh? Or eat the 'bai fong wan'?