Don't know why...

In a sucky mood today.

Its confirm. I lost my barely 3 weeks old Esprit umbrella (with UV protection and bla bla bla goodness in it) that fat guy bought for me from his Sg trip... I tried to look for it everywhere but I guess the careless me must have left it somewhere and .... I feel bad.

I blame myself for walking under the hot sun today.
And if I get caught in the rain... its entirely my fault too.

Both tutorial and lecture class in the morning got canceled last minute when I'm already on my way up BSB. Ate Nasi Katok alone in my pathetic room watching Gossip Girl waiting for the next lecture. I can't stop munching today. My baju kurung feels tight. Pimples have been sweet to me paying a lot of visit and just won't go.

Am not having high expectation for my big two-five this year. Its depressing even to think of it to be honest. I guess I'll be too busy burying my head in piles of books and feeling all cranky due to lack of sleep and also worrying about the next presentation... not the school one, the other terrifying one with wolves and vultures preying on me.

Again.
Can't wait till December... More like January 09 actually.

Why is thing changing without me realizing it, until the strong impact slammed on my face?
Or it is me who have changed?

One thing that's still the same though.
I'm still a sore loser spending my Saturday night doing nothing at home, all alone without any companion in this 3 x 3 room.

Maybe I should have stayed in BSB tonight, at least I'll have a cheerful night with them in Capers. Rather than hearing all those shouting and banging on the door.

Sometimes I even wonder why I choose this place thinking that there's someone for me.. with the fact that there's no one here except the white walls and fan blowing left and right.

Well... no one cares anyway.

48... I miss you.
I know if you're here I can always turn to you. Or at least just go your place do nothing but pull out your drawer and check what's inside.

Feel like going to the beach but am too timid.

God, please send me an angel.
An angel who doesn't require me to talk and explain how I feel.
An angel who just sits there and lend me a shoulder.

I need to breathe.

I'm going out now.
Don't know where... but I just wanna get out from here.