When I was a kid, I had always outlined my imaginary life being a grown up... couldn't wait for the time to come, tasting the breeze of homework-free. I mean, who doesn't? And after my 19th birthday, I realized.. I don't actually fancy the idea of "growing up" and what I named as "freedom" didn't turn out right too.
Look at me now. Turning 25 and still worrying about assignment, test and exams!
I'm supposed to be pregnant at this stage man!
Lol. No pressure Bobby, I'm just saying nia.
Okay, this WAS what I planned.
Finish study at the age of 18 - back in the late 80s, form 5 level macam degree holder already and I'd heard and seen so many kor-kor and cheh-cheh working in office wearing nice black suits, using their thunder fingers on the typewriter (PC is not common back in those days okay) with the ka-ching sound every time they reached the end of the page and quickly skipped (or entered) to the next line. I don't know, it looked kinda uh-seh to me though.. that time lah.
uh-seh (Hokkien), means got style.
Pronounce as - woo- seh, not erkh-seh ah.
So yeah, I thought form 5 level is already sufficient for me to earn a living. But now tabalik, degree holder macam O'level only... really one signboard fall down don't know how many degree-holder will kena. Your GCE O'level certificate can no longer bring your further down the blow-aircon, sign paper and answer phone stage.
Get married at the age of 24 - HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Don't laugh! Okay, nevermind, I'm laughing at myself now too. What the heck was I thinking? Getting married at 24? What? I live in fairytale world kah? Looking for Prince Charming with a white horse lagi. HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA!!!
And now, I'm not even engaged. Again, no pressure ah Bobby. I'm not mentally prepared anyway. The thought of getting married scares me nowadays... See and hear too much of dysfunctional marriage I guess. Okay, I know my dear Orange will come and convince and tell me its not as bad as I thought again. I have strong sense of insecurities and that's why.
I've postponed that plan. Date - TBA. Well, good for me that at least I'd found my candidate to walk the aisle with me. Just that I have not placed deposit for booking first nia lah. Hmm.. buying a chain to secure him is cheaper than putting 10% deposit I think? Wait. If use chain on me how he go work and earn money leh? Okay, change plan. I got to think of a better solution.
Be a mother at the age of 26 - That, is why I mentioned earlier in this post that I should be pregnant now. Pregnant when 25, give birth when 26 lor. Okay, I'm not wishing for this now and I definitely don't want this to come true. Phewww...
My mammary glands are not ready yet.
All my accessories or equipments for reproduction are only for display now. Period.
When I see my friends archiving all the targets I planned when I was 7, I kind of feel envious to be honest. Having a 24/7 partner to turn to pouring all those mental-rubbish from work and studies, a shoulder to lean on, cute babies to
play sayang with... Awwww. So sweet.
I'm not ready to wake up in the middle of the night by baby cries to be greeted by piles of greenish or yellowish excretion. Or those sweet wake-up call from my glands telling me its time to feed. Tons of laundries to be done with. The never ending shopping list of the house (Groceries, not Ego or Charles & Keith okay! Mamipoko pants, Enfagrowth, shaving cream, Fabuloso.. Wah lao eh, just imagining carrying those huge plastic bags already scares me liao.)
But... I do know what I'm going to wish for my birthday this year.
No more vague wishes such as everyone around me stay healthy and happy, everything goes well
or Bobby buying me whatever I wish for and whatever that comes to my mind.
To name a few that can be shown to the public, benefiting a lot of people, I wish:
- Fuel charges remain the same. Thank you very much Kebawah Duli for all the subsidization.
- UBD pesta convo can last for a year!
With Ahad's burger and that nasi katok with big big piece of fried chicken readily available.
- the WAVE connection in female hostel can be more stable, or even better...
- Wifi available throughout the whole campus of UBD (so no need to walk to ICTC or library liao).
The rest of my wishes, I prefer to keep them private.
I just hope I got enough time to make all my
greedy wishes before the candles burn out.
If I'll have a birthday cake that is.
Happy birthday to me.
May all my wishes come true.